A Conversation with Bob and Tim Shriver | How Can We Help Each Other Right Now

Working together is the only way through this health crisis. Our relationships with family, friends, and neighbors are a source of strength and hope. But 4 out of 5 Americans say that we have never been more divided. At precisely the moment when we need each other most, we find ourselves caught in old habits of blaming and “othering” those who do not share our views.

Our political divisions have become personal divisions. The more we hate the other side, the more isolated we become, the more friends we sacrifice, the more love we give up, the more hope we lose.

Some time ago, I had the pleasure of talking with Tim Shriver during my weekly Kitchen Table Chat. Tim is a renowned educator and social activist who has dedicated his career to healing divisions in the US. As head of the Special Olympics, he has spent decades championing the inclusion of people with disabilities. With his new UNITE movement, he brings the message of inclusion to a society that is now deeply divided and in need of social cohesion. I was honored to be part of his “Call to Unite” 24-hour livestream on May 1, 2020, that brought together people from all over the world and all walks of life to share the vital message of inclusion.

In study after study, science shows us that life-affirming relationships are central to our health and happiness. In a wonderful, far-reaching discussion of Tim’s work, he shared these takeaways about how we can heal divisions in our relationships:

We have two epidemics, an epidemic of disease and an epidemic of division. It didn’t start with COVID, but both epidemics have the same solution: working together to strengthen our relationships.

We can’t overcome this pandemic scientifically without trusting each other, and we can’t cope with it emotionally without relying on each other.

Contempt causes divisiveness and makes it impossible to build trust. Seeing past our judgments of each other to focus on all we share as human beings is the essential first step.

History teaches us that humiliated people do terrible things. A lot of Americans feel humiliated right now. If we support leaders instead of shame them, they might have more compassion for others and get to solutions quicker.

During this crisis, we’re all dealing with fear, and fear can either bring us together or act as a barrier that results in missed opportunities to connect.

We need to look for more neutral and more loving pathways forward, focusing on all the things we agree about – wanting to keep our families safe, educate our kids, and make sure everyone has food and shelter, and health care.

Reach out with kindness and curiosity no matter how uncomfortable it feels. Let kindness be the go-to response to any attempts to divide us from each other.