How Life Stages Drive Perspectives – ‘Where You Stand Depends on Where You Sit’

Think about how old you are now. Cut that number in half, and think back to what you were like when you were half as old as you are now.

WHAT DID YOU CARE MOST ABOUT BACK THEN? WHAT IS DIFFERENT IN YOUR LIFE NOW? IT’S EXTREMELY IMPORTANT IN THIS TIME OF UNCERTAINTY.

For me, I hadn’t become a parent yet. I was starting a career and wondering where I was going to go and what I was going to do. I had a new, intimate relationship. All of this shaped my life and how I saw the world at that time. My career and my peer relationships were the biggest things in my life. Right now, my view of life is very different. A lot of my life is behind me, and I’m more worried about the younger generation than I was when I was in my 30s.

These differences in perspective that happen as we get older can actually make us feel that people of different generations don’t get it – that they don’t understand what is most important.

This generational dynamic was the focus of my 2nd Kitchen Table Chat.

Let’s stop for a moment and think about how our biggest concerns during the pandemic are different at different ages:

• There’s the 3-year-old who now gets to spend the whole day with her parents and feels like life has suddenly become one, long playdate with mom and dad.
• Many young teens want more than anything in the world to be with friends, and it can seem like torture to have to be at home with parents.
• A young man in his 20s is just trying to launch his career at a time when so many jobs are going away – and he has just started a new romantic relationship but can’t be with his partner.
• A couple in their 40s suddenly have to add the responsibility of childcare and home schooling to their work responsibilities. And their biggest worry is financial, because one is about to lose a job.
• The physician in her 70s must choose between working at her hospital during the pandemic and taking care of her husband who has dementia.
• A man in his 90s, living in a retirement home, is suddenly without visitors, which is what he lives for.

WHAT DO WE DO WITH ALL THESE DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES THAT PEOPLE SHOW US IN THEIR LIVES? WHEN PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT GENERATIONS DON’T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND WHAT’S MOST IMPORTANT, IT’S HELPFUL TO REMEMBER:

Nobody is wrong. Remember the adage,

Where you stand depends on where you sit.

What the pandemic looks like to you depends on where you are in your life.

Our job is to listen to each other, to understand the points of view of other generations and to help them find solutions. If teenagers are desperate to be with friends, help them figure out ways to hang out with each other virtually.

Don’t make people feel bad about their biggest concerns. Amid all the stress of the pandemic, it’s easy to criticize others for not sharing your perspective.

Remember that we all share one common goal. We all want to emerge from this crisis feeling healthy and strong.

During my second Kitchen Table Chat, we discussed these varying dynamics, what they mean and how to deal with them. You can see it all below. And hopefully, you can join me next Tuesday for another session.